Meat-O-Matic

sweet broccoli shirt

Broccoli is the king of Anti-Meat. Now that might seem weird to sell a non-meat shirt on a site comprised of lots and lots of meaty goodness, but this shirt is a grand statement of irony and awesomeness.

Buy a broccoli shirt for your girlfriend while you wear the sausage shirt. It would be cute. In a vomit-cute kind of way.

Green half-tone dots printed on a green shirt. Raaaad!

bacon squeezins water bottle

Everybody thinks they’re sooooo cool and “green” with their reusable, eco-friendly water bottles. Now you can show em up with this rad, reusable water bottle with Mr. Bacon printed on the outside!

Each bottle is 8-1/2″ (21.6 cm) tall and holds 20oz of your favorite liquid.

And don’t worry, there’s no bacon flavor in the bottle or anything, so the awesomeness on the outside isn’t going to give you bacon water!

bacon flavored gumballs

Yes, we’ve gone overboard with the “bacon” thing, but who can blame us? Bacon is a powerful force and we are but disciples doing our part to spread the gustatory gospel.

Each 3-¼” x 2-½” x ¾” (8.3 cm x 6.4 cm x 1.9 cm) tin contains twenty-two bacon flavored gumballs.

meaty 1.5 inch button

Meat on the front. Pin in the back. It’s 1.5 inches in diameter, and you can wear this button, or badge, with pride. Tout your security in the actuality of steak.

bacon scented air freshener

They say these smell like sizzling bacon. There’s no way we’re going to test it out in the office (we have to work here, you know), so the smell isn’t personally guaranteed. But strips of bacon on a string hanging from your rear view mirror is the second coolest thing you can put there.

With an image of three strips of bacon, you’re sure to be the coolest kid in the greasy spoon car lot shop.

strawberry flavored gummy bacon

Gummy bacon is almost as good as the real thing. But this stuff you can carry around in your purse and gnaw on it whenever you want. If you carried around real bacon you might attract flies, dogs, and homeless people. Seriously. Try it some day, see what happens.

Or just buy gummy bacon and avoid any unnecessarily awkward situations that may arise from having raw pig meat in your purse.

Broccoli t-shirt

Broccoli. It’s the opposite of meat. Just like we let vegetarians buy meat shirts from us, we let carnivores buy vegetable shirts from us.

Flex your irony muscle and wear this to a Sizzler Steakhouse.

Screen printed on quality lightweight 100% preshrunk cotton t-shirts.

steak hoodie

Pullover hoodie with a steak printed on the center chest.

Our classic meat design printed on a comfortable and stylish pullover hooded sweatshirt.

steak t-shirt

Our classic steak t-shirt. Printed on quality 100% preshrunk cotton lightweight tees.

You can wear this shirt because you love meat or because you hate it, but either way, you’ll get plenty of comments and compliments from everybody in the whole wide world.*

*not guaranteed